I listened to this quote today in one of my favorite YouTube channels The School of Life and it really resonated with me at this moment in my life: "The best way to recover sanity is to allow madness to have it's full unfettered horrific necessary run". The topic of this video was about getting over your ex. Yeah, taboo right? Something perceived as so childish and mundane, for teenagers, not rational adults.
I suffered horrifically in my last breakup from the love of my life. Yes, I sound like a little girl, but I don't care. Life is perception, so what we believe is real to us. If you believe in God, God is real. If you believe in sun signs, they are real, and if you believe that someone was the love of your life, then they absolutely were. Our lives are grounded on our belief and feelings, although we delude ourselves as thinking we are such rational, advanced beings.
We live in a self-help society, evolved or whatnot, in which we are encouraged to be extremely controlled and level-headed at all times. If we understand rationally that a relationship ran its course, we should accept it with dignity and move on like a champ, even if our stomach feels like it received a mortal punch, our mind cannot concentrate in any task, our body cannot absorb nutrition and we cry or yell at anything that touches our embarrassing wound. Our body doesn't speak "Rationalan". It has it's own language that doesn't use words, but sensations.
If everything is a balance then doesn't it make sense that there should be the same amount of madness for sanity? Maybe it's why we suffer so immensely for something so irrational, simply to activate that insane part of ourselves that also needs to be heard. The crier, the yeller, the runner, the binger, the dancer, the artist... the writer.
I lost my mind for a while. I really did and since I had nothing to lose, I embraced my temporary insanity with all its phases: the deep depression, the ecstatic thrill, the daredevil, the beggar, the crazy and the melancholic. There is poetry in losing our minds for a bit and returning to our humanity, a place where we learn to have true compassion for pain, ours and our neighbors. Also a place where we are reminded of true beauty, the one we only see when our soul is blatantly open and our guard is down.
Don't bottle up the pain no matter how ridiculous it is. Find your perturbed inner self and allow them to just be, with genuine curiosity. The rational world will still be there after your body has returned to its natural rhythm. I'll finish with a quote from the music composer Seal:
We're never gonna survive unless we go a little crazy.
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